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How A Sex Surrogate Helps People with Poor Body Image

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This entry was posted on 6/21/2006 2:44 AM and is filed under Dating,Psychology,sex.

“How Body Image Affects Sex”

A person’s body image affects his or her entire life. Body image can affect a person’s outlook, their career, their relationships with others, and especially their sex life.

A person who has a poor body image will perceive him or herself as unattractive to other people. This unhealthy mental outlook will start to influence their personality and behavior to the point of projecting negative feelings.

This is a shame because people who have a good body image, who see themselves as attractive to others, usually are happier. They tend to advance in their career. They enjoy more productive relationships. And yes, they have more sex. (And better sex)

Body image has little to do with physical attributes, and more to do with self-confidence. People who have a poor body image might actually be physically attractive to others, while people who are just average looking may have a good body image and be exceptionally appealing to others.

Body Image Is Powerful

Due to many different factors, including upbringing and the modern media’s distortion of sex appeal, a man or a woman may develop a very poor body image and become outright embarrassed about their physical appearance. This can cause a person so much stress and worry, that they simply withdraw socially. They do not date or try to meet new people and so end up sexually starving themselves.

Whereas body image is known to affect more women than men (over 70% of women polled stated they were not happy with their bodies, compared to 33% of men), men also can develop a poor body image; whether late in life after physical changes take place or starting from puberty and on into adulthood. Common body areas in men that are brought into question when a poor body image develops are skin, hair, nose, body shape, eyes, penis size, chest and stomach.

Some of these worries could be media influenced just as it is in women. Top male movie stars, porn stars—or worse yet computer-generated action heroes?—may have perfect bodies and set too high a standard to reach. On the other hand, psychological problems, a hard upbringing, or any recent traumatic experiences could also account for a poor body image.

The Truth About Your Body

Are you happy with your body? Are you proud of who you are and do you feel sexy whenever you dress for the occasion? If your first reaction is no!, or just an uncomfortable cringe, then maybe you have a poor body image. If that’s the case, then we have good news and better news for you.

First the good news. Poor body image is just a condition of the mind. While most people who suffer from low self-esteem are worrying about their physical appearance, other people are noticing the features they do like. If a man doesn’t have a perfect waistline, then many women will find beauty in his eyes, his smile or sense of humor. Just because a woman frets over her voluptuous figure doesn’t mean many men don’t find her curves quite sexy. Ironically, in many relationships the one physical flaw a person thinks he or she has can be charming to the partner.

Looks aren’t everything. And for the most part, people actually look good. But remember that whatever you are feeling inside is what you will project. So don’t spell out with your body language that you’re unattractive and unlovable. Sexiness, attractiveness and an appealing presence is determined by your own level of confidence and understanding, not your physical imperfections. (Which by the way, everybody has. Even movie stars, off camera)

Now the better news. The better news is that if think you have a very poor body image (meaning you think you’re ugly in some way) and are afraid to start dating because of the way you look, then sex surrogacy can help you!

How Sex Surrogacy Can Help

Sex therapists and sex surrogates can help men or women with body image problems. They can restore a person’s confidence. They can teach clients the fundamentals of dating, and better yet, the importance of loving themselves. Anyone can be told “to love himself”; but few educators can teach another person how to go about doing this, how to put away their fears and come to a healthy readjustment of their attitude. Sex surrogacy can do this. Sex surrogates can teach you how to perceive your body image in a kind and gentle way. This education can be done in many ways including talking concerns through with a therapist, receiving reassurance and comfort, engaging in emotional and mental exercises, and learning physical and sexual touching. Surrogate therapy has proven successful for many people who were once lonely, but who are now enjoying a better life and healthy outlook on life. (And yeah, better sex)

Thousands of people every year would rather have cosmetic surgery done than simply come to a better understanding of themselves, their bodies and what society expects of them. There’s hope for you too and it’s not by going under the knife. If you have low self-esteem or a poor body image, then running away from social activity (or from all of society and reappearing with a brand new face) is not the answer.

Improving your body image is. And seeking solutions through sex surrogacy may be just what you need.

Tara Livingston has been a certified sex surrrogate for 20 years. She earned her undergraduate degree Magna Cum Laude in psychology and contined with post-graduate studies at Antioch University. In addition, she received her certification as a sex educator from the Institute for the Study of Advanced Sexuality 10 years ago.

In her surrogate work, she initially received training through the Center for Social and Sensory Learning and later by the International Professional Surrogates Association.

As a surrogate she counsels and assists people with sexual and intimacy concerns, victims of sexual abuse, those with psychiatric disorders, orgasmic and erectile issues, premature and delayed ejaculation, among the many concerns. She works with sex therapists, sexologists, MFCC's and other mental health practitioners

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