Divorce, even in the best of circumstances, is a painful process. It represents an ending to what has become familiar and normal. I know the sting of divorce. I have seen its ugly head rear up in my mind and in my heart without remorse or concern for my emotional well being or happiness. I know the pain of loss and the resulting low self-esteem at being left behind. It is not a happy time in anyone’s life. I would wish that you would never have to experience this in your life, but if you have, I can empathize with your grief and pain.

Divorce can bring out the worst in people: the greed, the envy, the desire to inflict suffering, and often even the joy of hurting someone they once loved. Why is this?

Divorce is about the loss of trust, respect, and love (even like and friendship) of your partner. It is often a forgone conclusion, when people are sharing their wedding vows, thinking, “This is wrong, I am making a mistake.” But, they push on in spite of these inner urgings against this decision.

It is important to understand that a successful marriage is not the result of falling in love. It is the result of (there are lots of characteristics, but here are a few of the most important ones):

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·commitment

·acceptance

·willingness to change and grow

·ability to handle differences

Relationships don’t fail, people fail in them. A marriage is an entity without feelings, agendas, expectations and problems. These issues are in the people not in the relationship. Passion doesn’t leave a marriage; it leaves the people in it. So, what can you do? Spend time in honest non-blaming self-appraisal. Learn about yourself from it.

Tim Connor, CSP is an internationally renowned sales, relationship, management and leadership speaker, trainer and best selling author. Since 1981 he has given over 3500 presentations in 21 countries on a variety of sales, management and relationship topics. He is the best selling author of over 60 books including; He can be reached at his website at www.timconnor.com.