Sexuality versus Intimacy

Contrary to popular opinion these days, intimacy and sexual activity are not the same things. Who would’ve guessed? A person can be sexual without being intimate, while the reverse is true too. Neither scenario is very good for a marital relationship.

The best of both worlds happens when sexuality and intimacy come together in and for both partners. Sex is greatly enhanced by intimacy, and intimacy is greatly enhanced by sex. While you can have one without the other, having both equally is far better and increases the pleasure given and received from them—for both partners!

True intimacy happens when you know and are able to trust your partner. A great sex life just seems to be a natural result when intimacy is present. Everyone pretty much understands what being sexual means, but just what does it mean to be intimate?

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But before true intimacy can occur, you have to know and accept your self first, then allow your partner to know and accept you as well. Yep, real intimacy starts with yourself! If you don’t know your true self and are unable to let your partner know your true self, it’s impossible to be completely intimate with anyone. Sexual, yes. Intimate, no.

And developing this trust doesn’t come easily for most of us. It takes a lot of courage! It isn’t easy to expose your deepest thoughts, cares, and, yes, sexual fantasies or inclinations to anyone, even when you’re married to them and maybe have been for ages. To do it, you must first trust and let yourself to open up—and trust your partner to be open and understanding in return.

One of the quickest ways to destroy intimacy is to make fun of anything your partner cares deeply about or has admitted they’re a little embarrassed by—or that excites him or her. This is makes your mate less likely to share other knowledge about themselves that could enrich and deepen your intimacy, and who could blame them! No one wants to be teased about or made fun of when it comes to their truest desires, needs, dreams and wishes.

The problem that many people have with intimacy is that they confuse romance with intimacy. Things like candlelit dinners, massages, long walks on the beach holding hands, etc., are wonderful ways to set the stage for intimacy, but are not necessarily intimate themselves. They may well set the stage for truly intimate moments, but unless there’s a deep bond and connection between two people where they can be themselves, openly and honestly, intimacy won’t be the outcome. Passionate sex, maybe. But not genuine intimacy.

Intimacy does take some practice. It deepens and improves over time. Time is essential for two people to truly get to know each other—and more importantly, to completely trust each other with their deepest wishes, dreams, hopes and sexual desires. But this is something that’s not only worth the practice and time it takes, it’s fun and romantic too!

This article was written by Tomira L. Rosser of CreativePenz Copywriting Services. CreativePenz creates custom, original and engaging articles, books, stories and more. For further information, please contact her at creativepenz@aim.com.

 
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